Saturday, August 14, 2010

Life without a Wife

Since the principle of planning ahead completely escapes those with whom we work we were rather lost as to when or where we would be come the end of the month when Katy would need to fly home because apparently pregnant ladies don't do well on long road trips.  However buying a plane ticket last minute can be rather expensive we decided to get her out of here while we were still in Anchorage.  The date of her departure was August 5th obviously leaving me without a wife for a time.  Today while I was cooking myself breakfast and cleaning the kitchen a bit I was noticing things that are very different when there is no wife around.  Let me elaborate.  Without a wife around:
... it is perfectly fine to through away the twist tie and just spin the bread bag and tuck it underneath the loaf.  In fact there are 4 bags of bread-like items on my counter all of which would be required to have a twist tie if a wife was around but none of which actually have.

... if you use the same amount of whipped egg whites while halving the rest of the waffle recipe your waffles take the consistency of a marshmallow.
...nutrition simply consists of eating regularly. chapstick exists in the entire house.
... you never get accused of "stealing the sheets".  However with all that extra room to flop and wander it is much easier to tie ones self into a knot with the sheet or to wake up and find the sheet on the other side of the room.
... ice cream and cupcakes make a very acceptable breakfast. store trips are daily or twice daily since meal planning means thinking about what you are going to eat for your next meal.
... tickle fights are not much fun. 
... no comments are made if you choose to have a soda with every meal.
... no one yells at you for accidentally stabbing a hole in the wall while playing with your machete.
...WWII movies can play almost nonstop. 

... it is rather lonely.