Tuesday, September 14, 2010

PG-13 for Some Graphic Images

I never thought I would have a blog post with a warning caption on it before but here we are.  Seriously there are some semi-sick pictures coming up.  Ye be warned.

So Monday came and there were chores to be done. First on the list was to venture into the woods to fetch some firewood to add to the jumbo pile already out there.  Jack, Gena and I set off in the old Ford to get a load.  We had been up in the woods for just a bit, Jack had cut down a couple trees and he had loaded them then we switched positions.  I hefted the chain saw and went to work cutting down my tree.  It came down with no problems but when it fell the tree was still off the ground 4 or 5 feet just because of the branches still holding it up.  So the next step is to get the branches off.  Some of them were pretty big but I was getting it taken care of.  I started to cut a pretty big one that was sticking out the side of the tree so I didn't think too much about it.  But when I got through it the tree fell into me pushing me backwards and somewhere in the split second I was falling back the chain saw and my leg came into contact.

As I was stumbling back I looked down and saw my torn jeans and bloody mess o' leg.  So I set the chain saw down and walked back to the truck muttering expletives.  I turned around and tore my pants open more so my folks could see the wondrous sight.  That got 'em going!  They started running back to me as I sat down on the bumper to keep from passing out.  That wasn't working so I lied down on the ground which felt much better.  Gena was saying something about getting the first aid kit and went to the cab and came back to open the kit just to say "Damn! There are only 2 bandaids in here."  However we did not venture into the woods completely unprepared.  A maxi pad and some napkins got strapped to my leg with Jack's belt then I loaded into the back seat of the truck and we went back into town.  After stopping at the Wendy's to get Jack a sandwich we went to the local clinic.  It was a slow day in there but when the receptionists heard me say "chainsaw" they jumped up and started running to get nurses and doctors.  Maybe they didn't see my walk in under my own power or notice that I wasn't bleeding all over the rug.  But it felt good to feel so taken care of.
You know Doctors really should have code words for the things they use in a routine procedure. I felt like the Albatross from The Rescuers Down Under. "Get me the hyperdermal tissue disruptor!"  Well they didn't use that one but they did use "high pressure irrigator" which I thought at the time to mean some kind of pump they were going to blast me with at 200 psi.  The "needle driver" didn't sound too fun either.  I'm thinking a big hammer, maybe a gun of sorts.  No it's just a little set of pliers. The high pressure dealie was the turkey baster you see in the picture up there.  I got a little wet but no worries.  Sheesh!
    Well some people enjoyed it. Doctors of sorts indeed. 
13 stitches and there you see the needle driver.  There would have been more but they kept using the phrase "too much flesh missing". I will be the first to admit how lucky I am because it could have been a lot worse but there is no need to use grisly terms like that while working on a fella who is a bit weak stomached. 
Here is the morning after picture as we changed the bandage.  Not too shabby.   
     Katy was telling Bridger and Trinity that I hurt my leg with the chain saw and Trinity said "so he cut his leg off" as one commenting on the weather.  So to a 6 year old you have a scratch or complete dismemberment there isn't anything in between.


Mysha said...

I had to wait a little while before commenting because I was feeling a bit queasy after looking at your hairy hamburger leg, but I am seriously doubting that mom swore. And you forgot to mention that not having bandaids, they strapped a maxi pad to your leg!!!

Mysha said...

Oh wait, you did. I didn't see that part because I was trying not to look at the pictures. My bad.

Kristen Ellen said...

I'm laughing about Jack stopping at Wedny's. This has to be false. If it's really true he should win father of the year, cause that crap is funny. Your leg is totally sick. I vomited in my mouth. I'm glad you lived.